Road to Motherhood

When you’re told at 18 years old that you may never be able to conceive, you are not sure what to think.  

I still remember that day well. I had just recovered from surgery that confirmed I had extreme Endometriosis. One of the most extreme cases the physician had seen for my age. I was still in the anesthesia fog when Dr. Stalter spoke with me and my parents about what he had found. Stage 4 endo throughout my uterus, ovaries, bladder and colon. He had lasered much of it off during the procedure but it was just a matter of time before it all grew back again. “You may never be able to conceive”

I was in my freshman year of college and although I knew I wanted kids one day, it seemed so far off that I really didn’t worry about infertility then.

Well the years went by and I fought viciously with Endo. Sometime the disease would knock me down for days. I went through more surgeries and even medical induced menopause to try to stop the endo but it kept growing back.

As soon as I was engaged to my now ex husband, we decided we better start trying to conceive. We knew what we were up against so we wasted no time.  That was early 2005. In March 2006 I found out I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it! We had conceived naturally! I was over the moon.

12 weeks into my pregnancy I miscarried. My obgyn assured me that nothing was wrong but that it was natural. She encouraged me to immediately try again.  Well a year later when we hadn’t conceived again we sought out answers. Not that I really needed any, I mean three different doctors had told me that I would have trouble conceiving.

After many tests on me and my partner and more laparoscopy surgery, we conceived naturally. It took over three years from when we initially started, and those where some of the hardest years I have ever endured.

Hunter John Hartwell was born on October 14, 2008. All of the heartache was erased as soon as I held him in my arms. He is a miracle in my eyes. He is my greatest gift. I thank God everyday that I was blessed enough to have an amazing little boy.

Motherhood is something I never take for granted. I won’t lie that some days I am exhausted and the little booger can drive me crazy, but I would rather be tired and crazy then without him.

With Mother’s day around the corner I can’t help but think about all the woman out there who want to be a mommy so bad and for whatever reason can’t. Life seems so unfair sometimes.  What is so easy for some is also so hard for others.

Being a single mommy to a four year old means I won’t get breakfast in bed or fancy jewelry instead I will spend the day playing with my little man and appreciating the fact that I AM A MOMMY!